Look around, isn't this enough?

Last time in class we talked about what we brought with us to college and what we wanted to leave behind, and all I could think about was how I wanted to leave everything behind. I wanted to be somewhere completely new, to never see anyone I knew from high school, and to be far enough away to possibly feel some affection for the small town I grew up in. Yet, here I am, a mere twenty minutes away from home. I go to the same theater. I go to the same mall. I follow the same routes. I hang out with the same people. It’s all just… the same.

You’re thinking, that’s a bit over dramatic there, kid. There’s plenty of time for things to change after college. Besides, isn't being in college different enough? Well, true, it's a great college. It's a privilege to be a student, don't get me wrong, but... I grew up in this area. Up until four months before graduation, I was pretty sure I would finally be putting a considerable distance between myself and my hometown. I was ecstatic about it. I fantasized about it in class. I had it all planned out.

Then life happened. I am of course incredibly thankful for everything, but when I first settled in here I felt like nothing had really changed. I had worked towards one very different goal for four years, and I wasn’t prepared for everything to stay the same.

So, when we talked about what we deliberately chose to leave behind, I thought about my job more than anything. All my friends were getting new jobs, and I still had the one I’d started with in my junior year of high school. I hated that job. Well, not at first. It was a crappy fast food job, so there was never any love for it certainly, but as far as fast food jobs go, it could’ve been much worse. By the time college started, I’d become pretty good friends with my co-workers, I was efficient, and my loyalty had earned enough credit that they were super willing to work with my schedule. I should’ve been satisfied, but it got to the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. To me, that job was just another reminder of how close I was to home and how I was the exact same person. I felt like the next four years of my life were just mapped out in front of me, predictable, predictable, predictable. Clocking in and clocking out. School. Work. School. Work. I wanted something to change, no matter how small.

I'm leaving my job behind.

My last day at my old job is Wednesday. My first day at my new job is Saturday. It may not seem like much, but to me, it’s proof that maybe things can be different here. I don’t have to completely change everything to be happy. I can start with one small thing at a time.